Fire and Ice
by Hotaru Mirai-96
Summary: Its funny how you can go from being one of the riches teenagers in the world to being a little defenceless baby in a land very different from your own. OCx?, Self-insert-ish
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, that belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. The only thing I own are my OC's. **

**Enjoy!**

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Part One: ~birth

_"But if I had to perish twice,_

_I think I know enough of hate_

_To say that for destruction ice_

_Is also great_

_And would suffice."_

-Robert Frost, _Fire and Ice_

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I like to think that the day I was born was a good day. It wasn't, but that doesn't mean I can't hope that I brought some joy. I know that my birth was not something that was planned and even something that was very evident to my mother when she started getting morning sickness and thought she had fallen dangerously ill. She use to tell me that she almost fainted when her healer said that she was pregnant, and that I would be arriving soon. At that point of time I became aware and would listen to her voice.

Why was I aware? All I remembered was sipping wine from one of my family's expensive glasses and suddenly feeling my stomach start burning and my body falling…and then I was inside somewhere really warm and small. I felt strangely safe, and slept for a really long time to the sound of soft feminine whispering. I now know this was my new mother.

On the day I was born I absolutely did not want to leave the safe haven of my mother's womb, it was warm and safe. This is probably the same train of thought everyone forgets when they are born and so I no longer question the selfishness of the human race, because at that moment all I thought about was me. My mother had a difficult childbirth, she had to be cut open by her healer as I was pulled out and slapped to cry. All I was focused on at the time was how cold it was on the outside of her body and that I couldn't see, and then I was handed over to my mother…and I felt content. I guess this is what you call mother-daughter bonding.

Although I felt the regret of feeling this sense of love for a complete stranger there wasn't really a choice of denying the bond between a newborn and their mother. I could feel her warmth as she wrapped me into a cotton blanket and rocked me back and forth, vaguely reminding me of my mother from _before_. My mother from my first life wasn't really the ideal mother; when I was born she didn't know how to perceive me and as I grew older she tended to ignore me. It's not that she didn't love me, it's more like she didn't know how to handle a child.

Needless to say I was their only child, and heir to their fortune. My parents in that life (I can't remember their names anymore) had been both raised in houses that their main focus was how to earn money and keep it and so they passed the arrogance of the rich onto their daughter. I remember when I thought that I was better than everyone else because I had the best clothes and the best cell phone, and then I was slapped by reality when I started to fall in love with a boy who barely had enough money to feed himself. Love, I have learned, is not something you can chose or predict; it's either there or not. My first love taught me that I _should get off my high horse because I'm just like everyone else_ and I actually believe him…well after denying that I wasn't special in any way and glaring at him when we had classes together in university. He was so frustrating, and for weeks I avoided him because I didn't want to believe that having a lot of money didn't mean I was better than everyone else.

I can't remember his name anymore. I wish I could, but fragments of details from my past life fade as I focused on the life I now reside in. I remember that he had the greenest eyes I had ever seen in my life, and that I cared very deeply for him even when he broke up with me after two years. I don't remember specifically why he did, but I don't think he thought of me as a lover—more of a sister. The memories of him end at that moment, I can't remember ever seeing him again after he told me that it wasn't going to work out but I always get these flashes of him when I sleep.

Two days after I was born the Kazahana Castle of the Land of Snow burned to the ground and left my mother to fend for herself and her newborn. She tells me that she almost didn't make it out of the castle because she was still weak from having me and the walls were caving all around her. What I remember of that day is fire and smoke, and the desperate weak calls of help from my mother.

She barely made it out alive; with me clutched so tightly to her chest she was scared she might have suffocated me. My eyes had not opened fully at that point (thankfully) and so I missed her staring at me critically for any injuries. She carried me through the snow, wind scraping her face as she murmured to me that everything is going to be okay.

If I wasn't here she wouldn't have to go so slow, I think even as a newborn. Although my days pass between the long naps that my body demands I know that it's been at least two since the castle was destroyed. My body is starting to shiver and by the sound of my mother's cough she isn't faring very well either. I fall asleep shortly after noticing and weighing our chances at living and only wake again when I hear voices—unfamiliar voices that swarm my senses.

"Nanami-san!" A man's voice, filled with the kind of desperation that I've heard only once in my life. Footsteps crunching in the icy snow run towards my staggering mother as she starts to slow down. Multiple people, it sounds like, and people that know my mother.

I can hear the smile in my mother's voice, "Sandayu-sama! I'm so relieved to see you, I've been walking for so long…" She pauses and I can feel her shift her arms to bring me closer to her face. "Sayuri is very quiet." Well, yes I'm kind of cold right now (and is that _my_ name?).

Another face grew close to me, by the slight musk smell my brain instantly named it male; this must be Sandayu. He makes a worried noise and suddenly my mother is handing me over into another pair of arms and he's clutching me so tightly that my numb limbs sting from the pressure. I start wailing, my throat burning.

My mother frets, her voice raising in alarm as Sandayu starts to run with her close behind. She's yelling questions about where he's going and all he does is mumble words under his breath and suddenly I can't hear my mother's voice anymore. I start to shake, the longing for my mother causing me to wail yet again and choke out sobs.

"Shh, Yuri-chan, your mother is just being taken to one of the houses. She used up all her energy to get you here, I would like that she rest, don't you?" I cease my crying, my small hands grasping air as he laughs softly. Soon after telling me this we enter a faintly lit room that swells with warmth, even though my eyes have not opened I can see the light of the fire against my eyelids. In the room there is a faint murmuring of women's voices, and when I come into their view there is a long pause.

"Sandayu-sama, who…?" one questions.

"Nanami-san has arrived, she's been wandering for days at least. Her daughter is running a fever," I am? "do you know what to do?"

Another woman answers her voice gruff. "Give her here." He hands me off to another pair of arms, these arms are much warmer and thicker. The woman places one of her fingers on my cheek and huffs when I barely make a movement, she snaps her fingers and suddenly there is something warm and thick running down my throat. Milk.

I gulp it down greedily, thankful for the food my body needed even though I had been ignoring it for so long now that I had almost forgotten that a newborn needs to feed a lot. My throat and lungs burned as I forced as much milk down as I could, until I became aware of how sluggish my body has become and I slow down. It's hard to adjust to being an adult to a newborn, disorienting and confusing to say the least.

I fall asleep shortly afterwards.

* * *

My eyes open after two weeks. My mother, who I have learned is named Aiko (although most call her by her family name), was the first person I saw as my eyes adjusted to the light from the fire. The first feature to amaze me is her hair—it's _purple_. Well, not purple, but a very dark plum color that I only ever thought the odd fruit back home could be. Never would I ever imagine that someone could even be born with hair that shade. She has her (_purple_) hair pulled away from her face to look down at me, but a few stray strands fall to curve around her oval-shaped face. Her eyes are a very light shade of blue that is lined with a small bit of makeup and her lips are colored a vibrant red. Odd.

She gasps when I open my eyes, her colored lips forming an o shape. "Oh!" Next to her another woman comes into view and I recognize her from the radiating heat coming from her body. The nurse that fed me when my mother and I first arrived at the refugee camp and Aiko was in no shape to feed me herself stands proudly by my mother's side. I'm amazed at her height; she could easily be taller than any woman I ever saw and she's very wide but not fat. Motherly. Her hair is a plain brown that's cut short and her eyes are the same pale blue as Aiko's except that don't hold the same wonder, they have a faint bit of warmth but also caution.

She grins, "Looks like Yuri-chan decided to greet us today." She rubs my forehead and I make a general baby noise of pleasure.

Another voice, young and boyish comes from below where my mother is holding me. I recognize this voice as the nurse's two year old son, Souta, who tends to stare at me when my mother lets him sit next to her. "I wanna see!"

The nurse frowns, rolling her eyes as she lifts the little boy up and I get the first view of the only person who will ever put up with me and my odd way of thinking. Happens when you're really over twenty years old in a child's body, your mind and body tend to go against each other a lot of the time. Souta looks like a general little body, with round cheeks and large eyes; he's a perfect clone of his mother down to the slight dimple on the right side of his mouth. When he catches my eyes he grins, crooked teeth flashing against his brown skin that looks faintly tanned.

Aiko giggles, "I think she likes him." I make a snorting noise, then a short coo as a response and my mother smooth's her hand across my forehead. The nurse places Souta back onto the ground, and his short stubby fingers are suddenly poking my cheeks.

"Talk?" he asks.

Aiko laughs softly, "She won't be talking for a while, Sou-chan." I babble this time to prove a point and then start crying when my stomach pulses with the hunger only a baby can understand. Aiko frets and starts to feed me, her eyes soften as she stares at me and I fall asleep as she whispers something I now think of as a dream.

"His eyes…"

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**First chapter, done! Yay! Review please, thank you.**

**-Hotaru**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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Part Two~ _childhood_

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The second time around of my childhood past much more quickly than my first childhood, this one was a lot more difficult with the constant snow and threat that Doto Kazahana would send shinobi to finish the refugee's off. Surprisingly, he never did.

I learned that there is generally not much technology in this world—I once saw one of the few shinobi that survived having communication devices in their ears to be able to send a message if they spot any rogue shinobi in the imidiate area. No televisions, or cell phones and no internet (goodbye YouTube—I knew you well). We have about twenty shinobi who didn't side with Doto in the end, instead they helped most of the older people out of the castle as it burned down.

My mother never told me details about shinobi so to me they seem to preform magic tricks with certain movements of their hands. I thought I lived in a place of wizards and witches (there better not be a Voldemort here) for a whole year until I asked, (I had been talking in full sentences for about five months, strangely enough my first word was "fire") Souta how they did those amazing tricks.

That's how I learned about Chakra, the basis of all human life in this world. He told me that it was basically a physical and spiritual energy that everyone had in varying amounts depending mostly on bloodlines. He said shinobi usually had the most amount of this chakra and they could mold it into physical manifestations called jutsus. There were also some shinobi that specialise in genjutsu that use chakra to make illusions; while normal jutsus were physical manifestations, genjutsu focused mainly on the mental aspects of defeating an opponent.

Souta saw it as his mission to show me how to create a chakra ball in my hand, and so he made me meditate for three months as a one year old to reach my chakra coils. When I did find them I thought it was gross because it felt like a cold coiled up worm in my chest that refused to move when I demanded it. It took another month before I could get the weird worm-chakra to move down my arm and make my hand glow. It glowed a really pale blue, white almost.

Life went on in the refugee camp and I grew up at an alarming rate.

* * *

My first childhood, of what I can remember, wasn't really that amazing. It was hard for me to make friends, simply because my family made a lot of money and that tended to put off some people. So I turned to the dirty work of bribery—and to put it into simple terms: suddenly children would line up at my door to play with me. I didn't regret my actions at that time.

Now I recognize myself as the spoiled brat I so violent denied being. I see why people didn't like me; I was selfish, vain, and a little bit cruel. Those traits are not completely gone—I don't think they'll ever be—and I can sometimes fall into the thoughts of my last life. I try to keep a balance between humble and arrogant, but like all things human being do—it is imperfect, and I try not to fall into the pit of growing shame in my mind.

I make mistakes.

At two years old, Aiko knew there was something _off_ about me. She saw how I thought before I spoke and how I didn't really play much with anybody other than Souta. This worried her to the point where she would set up play dates with complete strangers whose children would call me weird. The conversations went a little something like:

"_Do you wanna play hide and seek?"_

"_No."_

"…_how about tag?"_

"_No. Leave me alone, weirdo." _

The first few times it happened, I will not lie, I cried until my eyes burned and my mother gave me a circular candy similar to Rockets to make me calm down. The fourth time I took it with a smile, and the fifth time I downright ignored them until my mother stopped bringing children over. I can be stubborn like that.

Souta was the only child willing to even talk to me without insults (unless he is teasing me—then we both have a verbal spar) and with this information I sometimes question his beliefs. In associating with me, he is teased by all the other children—but even still, he stays. He's not very normal, usually children can become very dark when rejected too many times; but all he did was grin and bear it.

Aiko gave up on trying to force me into friendships and decided that I should learn how a girl has to hold themselves. She started this when I turned four and came back to our refugee hut with melting snow dripping from my hair and clothes. She pulled me aside as Souta went to greet his mother in the kitchen (our moms are just as close as Souta and I) and frowned at my hair the same way I did when I first saw the color. Dissapointment, and slight annoyance.

"Were going to grow your hair out." She said, sitting me down on the sofa and pulling a brush from the counter next to her. She sniffed when I winced from a knot tugging on my scalp and continued to brush out my hair until it lay strait and long to my shoulders.

"Why?" I questioned.

"A lady must always have beautiful hair. That way men can appreciate the time she takes to make it look so perfect."

I stared at her blankly, "I'm four."

"That doesn't mean you can't look pretty, dear." Her voice grew soft by the end as she wondered into her own thoughts and smiled vaguely at the wall. "Your father loved my hair…said it was so soft…"

Aiko rarely talks about my father and so I had assumed that he died before I was born; any information I could dig out of her could be useful. It would be nice to know who gave me the dark pits of black my mother calls eyes, or to know where he was buried so I could visit his grave. Anything.

Aiko was still talking, "You know, he's the one who said I should name you _Sayuri_. 'My daughter the beautiful flower,' he would say. He would talk to you on days when you were particularly violent with your kicking and causing me many problems," she glares at me playfully. "You were quite the kicker, always trying to get out of me before your time and you were always sitting on my bladder—the bathroom practically became my home. Strange how you were so reluctant when it was time to leave…"

I grinned. "It was warm, mom, what do you expect?"

She laughs a faint bell like sound. "Yes, I would assume so." Her face becomes unreadable as she stares into my eyes and then smiles. She runs her long brown fingers through my hair and then stands. "Supper should be ready soon…" She leaves the sentence and I grin.

"I'll be back in ten minutes."

I race outside, pulling my only wool hat, gloves, boots, and fluffy jacket onto my skinny body. Souta yells from inside the house and I laugh as I barrel down the hill our home in built on, waving at the other refugees as I pass.

A woman with a frail-looking body and a skinny face stops me, "Do you know where Asama-sama is?" I instantly get a flash of an older smiling face. Sandayu. The man who found mother and I. I learned from mother that he had found the princess Koyuki after the palace had burned down and was determined to keep her safe. He never told anyone who helped her and most don't even know she's still alive but he keeps her hidden away in some part of our make-ship village. My mother only knows because Sandayu thinks of her as a close friend, someone that he grew up with and trusts unconditionally.

Souta appears at my side, "Ha! I caught up with you, Yuri-chan!" He takes notice of the other woman and bows in respect to someone of an older age, although he has a ridiculously large grin plastered on his face.

The woman stares at me, and I realize that I haven't answered yet. "I'm not really sure…" her gaze hardens and I have the sense of looking in the eyes of death itself. Her eyes are pure red, pools of blood that sit in an overly pale face. "He might be in one of the healing huts." I point far off to my right, where there's a circle of huts in the best conditions in our whole camp. Women carried material they needed to and from this area, and by their stride they all seem extremely tired. It was no secret that sometimes the shinobi that protect us can lose their senses and try and assassinate Doto—those that survive and escape come here to be healed (if possible) and those that don't return we assume are dead.

She nods and throws me a curious glance before making her way to the huts. Souta hums besides me, "Well…" then he slaps my shoulder and almost makes me fall over. "You're it!" He sprints away, laughing.

"You idiot!" I yell, pumping my legs to keep up with him.

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Aiko stares into Sandayu's eyes. She twitches as he grins and princess Koyuki hides behind his legs. The princess no longer wears her lavish silken kimonos, but now wears cheap clothes that look a few sizes too big for her small body. At this point I believe that she is ten, and by the slight curve to her figure she's starting to go into the hell that is puberty (good luck to her.)

"Are you crazy?" Aiko snarls, unnatural for her kind nature.

I stand by the oven with my hair pulled into a very messy up-do that mother forced me into. I watch the fish that the hunter's delivered this morning sizzle as I move the skillet around, pulsing chakra into my hand so I won't get a serious burn. I had taught myself to mold a small barrier of chakra around certain parts of my body; it could give me some sort of protection but I've never used it in a serious situatuation like fighting (I don't want to die…again).

I wish Souta were here, he'd keep me entertained, I think idly. Souta had gone home with his mother about two hours ago and then Sandayu had barged in with the princess in tow and the woman who stopped me earlier. When the woman took notice of me I saw her visibly stiffen, and then tilt her head sideways.

Sandayu tries to calm my mother, "Nanami-san, my first priority is the princess." His gaze travels to said person, then becomes blank. "I cannot stay here and let Koyuki-sama be constantly in danger—her father would be horrified to know I've kept her here…for years!"

"And what about us?" Aiko snarls. "Will you leave us here in this camp—this…dump—and live happily somewhere nice and sunny?" She points wildly at the princess who is cowering behind Sandayu's legs. Koyuki flinches slightly and the woman at the door takes a step forward as if to intervene my mother's anger. "You know that we have no leader without _you_ here, Sandayu! This princess no longer has a castle, therefore she is no longer a _princess._"

Sandayu sighs. "Aiko, I know that you are worried for everyone here—"

"Damn right!"

"—but the princess must be kept safe until she reaches the age when she can take the throne back." My mother starts to talk, but Sandayu interrupts. "I trusted to tell you this because I have decided to put you and Kairai in charge of the refugee camp until the princess and I return." He nods to the woman at the door as Kairai who bows deeply when my mother shifts her glare.

Kairai takes a few steps forward and uses a calm voice to speak with Aiko, "Nanami-san, I believe that Sandayu-sama has a point. When the princess reaches the prime age she can forcefully take back the throne Doto stole."

Koyuki whimpers slightly, but no one pays attention. My mother curls her lip but says nothing, then she turns and leaves the room.

Two days later Sandayu leaves.

* * *

Kairai stands tall with an aura of someone deeply serious; she looks over all the gathered refugees with narrowed eyes. Aiko stands to her right, her hair pulled into some complicated knot and her face brushed with makeup that brings out her pale eyes.

My mother is tense, waiting for the uproar of her new position in the village. Next to me, Souta and Nurse are pressed closely together as if they were scared to be forcefully pulled apart.

I stand near the back, Aiko had told me to stay as far away from the villagers as possible in case of an uproar. She also forced me to brush out my hair and put on some of her lip gloss (a four year old wearing makeup!) and also tied black and white prayer beads into my hair. I didn't ask her why, but now I kind of wonder why she put something religious in my hair.

No one reacts to the news. It's as if they are all in a strange trance that doesn't allow any to the news to affect them. I see Kairai smirk, and then she bows which lets her ivory hair fall and suddenly I'm looking at a very intricate tattoo that curls around the back of her neck.

"Thank you for understanding," she smiles widely, flashing teeth. "I'm sure that time will pass quickly and the princess will return."

One can only hope.

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**Another chapter done! Review please :)**


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